By Mike Osegueda
McClatchy Newspapers
Gwen Stefani is huge. There's no denying it.
Her name carries history (No Doubt, anybody?), success (20 million albums sold -- good enough?) and is even a brand (she peddles shoes, clothes and purses).
Yet, as her Sweet Escape tour continues, her name might not even be the biggest on the bill.
It's her opener (and recent collaborator) Akon who has a vice grip on the charts, with hits like "Smack That" and the recent chart topper, "Don't Matter." All told, he has had three No. 1 hits off his 2006 album "Konvicted."
His knack for oh-so-catchy hooks even gave Gwen a boost on her latest single, "The Sweet Escape."
So just who is bigger at the moment, Gwen or Akon? A Gwen fan and an Akon fan try to settle the argument.
Gwen Fan: I can't wait to see the fabulous Ms. Stefani live on stage.
Akon Fan: Umm, that's cool. I'm leaving after Akon is done.
GF: Akon?!? Oh, you mean the guy who sings backup for Gwen on her new single. Akon -- that's his name, huh? I just thought it was Seal Jr.
AF: You know who he is. He's the guy who finally helped Gwen break the 1 million sales mark on that new album of hers. That "Sound of Music" thing wasn't doing a whole heck of a lot. Except for making me gag.
GF: Oh, and you're one to talk? You like Akon. Or should I say A Con? He's a fake. Is he trying to bring back that Roger & Zapp voice effect? He sounds like a robot. As for that "Don't Matter" song, Bob Marley heard it and turned over in his grave.
AF: No, not a robot; more like a machine. Maybe you didn't notice that all three of the singles from his recent album -- "I Wanna Love You,""Smack That" and "Don't Matter" -- went to No. 1. And peep this: Those three songs have totaled 45 million plays on MySpace.
Mark that on your scorecard. 'Cause it's official.
GF: I'm supposed to be impressed that some 15-year-old with a MySpace account listened to Akon over and over and over and over and over for two weeks because "Don't Matter" was, like, her song with the guy she's crushing on?
You wanna talk real numbers? Between No Doubt and her solo albums, Gwen has sold 20 million records. We're talking people spending money to listen to her music, not just singing along to their MySpace.
AF: Yeah, but most of those sales came with No Doubt. That's not the Gwen we know today. Now she's trying to be some hip-hop diva.
Real talk: Without "Hollaback Girl" being as big as it was a couple years ago, she'd be Fergie.
GF: Oh, no, you did not say the F-word! First of all, Akon has just ridden the coattails of Snoop Dogg, Eminem and Young Jeezy onto the charts.
Is "Don't Matter" the only song he's ever done by himself?
And second, Fergie!?! That's a low blow. I know this is a heated debate, but I didn't go as low as to compare Akon to T-Pain. I'm not that rude.
AF: It's good that we can agree on the uselessness of Fergie and T-Pain. That's a start.
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